i just realized that the last, oh, i don’t know, five years of my life have been insane. the last three especially so.
(move to brooklyn, move to cleveland a few months later, watch a woman slowly die of cancer, go to a weird school that makes no sense, watch a friend die in two weeks time, get ruined in a bike accident, watch my relationship ruin itself in the aftermath, get so overwhelmed that i just start fainting because my body can’t take it, go to europe, be homeless for six months, crack a rib, get felt up by a professor, move across the country, accrue another mystery illness, work myself to death, back to europe, find out a friend erased herself because the world is so fucking hard on some people, address the aforementioned professor situation, meet and subsequently get wrecked by my heroes, become a master, deal with/endure another ruined relationship because it was just too fucking much to lose another-albeit awful-thing, lose a roommate to bad decisions and tragic circumstances, start fighting dudes, wrap myself in some unreal love, rabblerouse like a 21-year old frat boy, lose more friends to cancer/accidents/age, return home for the first time in years, come back to find a life that’s comfortable…)
and now that i’ve moved through this mess and seem to be settling into something that just is and isn’t hard or crazy or awful, my natural reaction is to fuck some shit up so i can get back to the harried state of being to which i am accustomed.
so here’s to learning, and learning to not destabilize myself purely for the sake of.
